I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize