I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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