i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize