He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize