He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
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It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
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I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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