So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
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We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
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I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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