Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I looked at my own cervix.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things