Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool