using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My vagina is officially offended.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.