This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex