I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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