Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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