Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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