Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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