Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize