she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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