booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize