just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You pole danced in your parka.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
