She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.