oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.