I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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