who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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