I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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