I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra