it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.