No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.