: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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