So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
