You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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