dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
