so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
