New low: just hacked my moms facebook
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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