We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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