yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
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Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
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I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight