everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.