Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...