You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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