Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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