i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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