We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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