I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
