So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize