we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
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We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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