We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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