dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
