she was so not down for the gang bang
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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