Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
