she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
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I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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