I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
