He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
