I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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