You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize