U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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