So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
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He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
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He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize