When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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