The maid of honor just puked.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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