Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
false alarm. still invincible.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
