If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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